GLORIA ANN LOWE… 12/19/1952 – 07/23/2010

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” – Revelation 21:4

My mom passed away last week.

You are never really prepared to hear someone tell you your mother has died, especially when she is relatively young at 58 and no prior warning that her time for walking among us has come to an end.  So many emotions are thrown at you at once that you hardly know how or what to feel.  Sadness because your mother is gone?  Anger because she was taken away suddenly and without warning?  Regret because you have not seen her in ages?

And of course, the shock of death always brings one face to face with one’s own mortality.  The age difference between me and my mom is only 16 years.  Time is tender.  Time is fleeting.  The hour of our death is unknown.  Did my mom do all she came here to do?  Did she fulfill all of her hopes and dreams? I think she would say yes.  She raised three children mostly on her own.  Taught them the difference between right and wrong.  She got to see her grandchildren, and she had a strong personal relationship with God being an ordained minister.  I think she would say she stood strong in the Lord and is now happy to be called home.

Where does that leave us back here on earth?  Deprived of a mother, deprived of a caring human being who did what she could for others without any expectation of return.  She would rather suffer in silence than burden others with her troubles, such was her disposition to put others before herself.  Her passing leaves us to cary on the good fight, to do the things we were sent here to do, to live up to our fullest potential, to honor her name.

I cannot say that I was extremely close to my mother, when I was young yes, but I left home at 17 to be the man she raised me to be and haven’t been home much since then, but always she was in my thoughts, my heart, my soul and many times I have stopped to reflect on the lessons she taught me as a boy.  The greatest gift she gave to me besides life was belief.  She taught me always to believe in myself, to never be content to be just another member of the herd, to have the guts to dream and the confidence to pursue those dreams. I am who I am today because of her.  I will miss her.

Rest in peace Mom,

Love,

Clay

The headlines in the British press over the past week have been fixated on President Obama’s upcoming decision on Afghanistan. What should he do – send more troops or look for an honorable way to get out? Perhaps President Obama should turn to the words of a former president – John Quincy Adams – for counsel. J.Q.A. had this to say about American entanglement in foreign affairs: ‘…she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy…She well knows that by once enlisting under other banners than her own, were they even the banners of foreign independence, she would involve herself beyond the power of extrication, in all the wars of interest and intrigue, of individual avarice, envy, and ambition, which assume the colors and usurp the standard of freedom…She might become the dictatress of the world. She would be no longer the ruler of her own spirit….’

I thought this would be a good story to share because I often here people making their big life goals – the goals they claim they really want – conditional.  They have the ‘someday’ mentality. ‘Someday when all the conditions are perfect, I’ll do the thing I really want to do with my life.’

I believe what they are really asking for is guaranteed success. Before they are willing to begin, they want someone (God, the Universe, Madam Golda) to look into the future and tell them that if they go for the thing they want, they will definitely get it and it will be just as they dreamed it would be and life will be wonderful. Without this guarantee, they refuse to act.

I’ve been down this road myself, sticking with the safe option, the perceived ‘sure thing’, the steady paycheck. All the while watching one day bleed into the next and wistfully dreaming about ‘someday.’

I don’t know if you know the story of Liz Murray, the lady who went from being homeless on the streets of New York City to attending Harvard and becoming a successful international speaker, author, and life coach. Their is a movie out about her life called Homeless to Harvard. All the odds were stacked against her. She had only a grade school education. She was living on the streets and being raised by two drug addicted parents.

But she wanted a better life. To get it, she knew she had to give up the if-this-then-that mentality. She said: “Before I had my transformation, I always had this illusion I call if-this-then-that. If I find a quiet place place, then I’ll study. If I get some more cash, then I’ll go to school. We do that when there is no real commitment to a goal. We’re saying ‘I’m committed unless…’”

She goes on to say there is a big difference between ‘I’m committed unless’ and absolute commitment. Absolute commitment means you’ll do whatever it takes. No excuses! No waiting for permission to act. No waiting for someday. No waiting for absolute guarantees.

To begin, you have to begin with absolute faith. Let go of the if-this-then-that mentality. This reminds me of a story Joseph Campbell, the late 20th century philosopher and mythology expert, told of a Native American father’s advice to his son: “As you go the way of life, you will see a great chasm. Jump! It is not as wide as you think.”

Are you standing on the edge of a chasm?

Take a good look at it.

Now jump!

I’ve come to far on my journey to slip back into old ways and travel familiar paths. Time to set my eyes on new horizons and follow new paths. I am more of a wanderer than a traveller…being a traveler implies reaching a destination, a wanderer has no destination. And “not all those who wander are lost.”