in the moment she answered
formless in-between states of grief
shadows dancing underneath her eyes
she did not recognise me

darkness
dull and desperate
before the beginning
began

i caught myself staring like a
chimp caught humping another
chimp, never would i be better

imitating the ways of the master not to
create but to destroy the beat of her heart

and then it made sense to me
i stood witlessly fumbling the
key to endless happiness she
sat on the bed with her hands
clenched, ‘i will help you hold
the hatred, spread it over the
fields black and foul and what
will you do for me?’ i will give
you another life layered in gauze
and honey, burning in teargas
i will save you from the vapour
and dust of sad dreams

I have to quit being anonymous inside the machine…artificial space in a dreamlike dimension…the pulse of 3am hits me inside the unconscious sea…a voyage below…subway empty…closing haunted spaces…this lack of a beginning divides me in the light under the flare of a system flooded by the black sun…time interval of an astronaut something stirs in the underground…52 eyes decomposing in the dark…these words cannot locate my lover’s nervous lips

Friday soon rolls around. I actually have to put on a tie today, which is not my normal Friday (if there is such a thing). The machine needs me and so I answer the call. Last night was painful, but i think the loop may have passed now – i’m on the other side – next step sense checking and integration into my life. I have some more stuff rolling out on Twitter today (as always) so hook up with me there if you haven’t already done so (and please don’t say you don’t understand Twitter, which is what I hear from a lot of people in my demographic – you are smarter than that, figure it out…use your imagination and make it whatever it is you want it to be…how did I get on this soapbox?)

Before I go, here’s a Friday playlist for you (i haven’t done one of these for a while (there’s only so much time in a day (even if you don’t sleep much like me))).

peace and love to you,
clay

i was in the desert once
lost in meditation
i was trying to get to
grips with being a
plaything for the gods

i met some souls sitting
around a fire in the open night
they were contemplating
Good and Evil
Lust and Sorrow

all of my incantations
and prayers ignored
by the old gods, i consigned
myself to the enigma of the
meek and their gospel of love

until i stumbled upon a
switch labeled universe
next to a button marked
“Boom”

in a moment of weakness
i pressed the button

Hey up! #Audiomo Day 4. I forgot that people are busy. My challenge to speak to 30 different people for #audiomo this year has hit a snag and it’s only day number 4. But I’m a person, so if I talk to myself, does that still count? lol.

If you fancy a chat, let me know, help me reach my #audiomo goal!

It turns out I’ve known Justyna for just over a year now. We met through a mutual company we both do some contract work for. JJ is a kindred spirit. We both dig philosophy, start things we never finish, and think about things way too much. So here for #AudioMo Day 2 is Justyna.