GLORIA ANN LOWE… 12/19/1952 – 07/23/2010

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” – Revelation 21:4

My mom passed away last week.

You are never really prepared to hear someone tell you your mother has died, especially when she is relatively young at 58 and no prior warning that her time for walking among us has come to an end.  So many emotions are thrown at you at once that you hardly know how or what to feel.  Sadness because your mother is gone?  Anger because she was taken away suddenly and without warning?  Regret because you have not seen her in ages?

And of course, the shock of death always brings one face to face with one’s own mortality.  The age difference between me and my mom is only 16 years.  Time is tender.  Time is fleeting.  The hour of our death is unknown.  Did my mom do all she came here to do?  Did she fulfill all of her hopes and dreams? I think she would say yes.  She raised three children mostly on her own.  Taught them the difference between right and wrong.  She got to see her grandchildren, and she had a strong personal relationship with God being an ordained minister.  I think she would say she stood strong in the Lord and is now happy to be called home.

Where does that leave us back here on earth?  Deprived of a mother, deprived of a caring human being who did what she could for others without any expectation of return.  She would rather suffer in silence than burden others with her troubles, such was her disposition to put others before herself.  Her passing leaves us to cary on the good fight, to do the things we were sent here to do, to live up to our fullest potential, to honor her name.

I cannot say that I was extremely close to my mother, when I was young yes, but I left home at 17 to be the man she raised me to be and haven’t been home much since then, but always she was in my thoughts, my heart, my soul and many times I have stopped to reflect on the lessons she taught me as a boy.  The greatest gift she gave to me besides life was belief.  She taught me always to believe in myself, to never be content to be just another member of the herd, to have the guts to dream and the confidence to pursue those dreams. I am who I am today because of her.  I will miss her.

Rest in peace Mom,

Love,

Clay

“Worry is otherwise known as ‘fantasized catastrophizing’ where we create an image of the future and use it to frighten ourselves! Be aware that you are doing it, then stop doing it, otherwise the image will become a self fulfilling prophesy. Imagine only the brightest future, and so it will be. Besides there is nothing to worry about… unless you are under the illusion that your well-being and security are dependent on material things. If they are, then you will have many ways in which you can create worry. Possible loss, damage, separation, uncertainty are but a few. Look, you’re killing yourself with worry, all because of the misuse of your imagination. Don’t do it.”

Innerspace (via bodymindandsoul) (via dysfunctionalhippie)

“When will you begin to live virtuously, Plato asked an old man who was telling him that he was attending a series of lectures on virtue. One must not just speculate for ever; one must one day also think about actual practice. But today we think those who live as they teach are dreamers.”

Immanuel Kant

“In the visible world, the Milky Way is a tiny fragment; within this fragment, the solar system is an infinitesimal speck, and of the speck our planet is a microscopic dot. On this dot, tiny lumps of impure carbon and water, of complicated structure, with somewhat unusual physical and chemical qualities, crawl about for a few years, until they are dissolved again into the elements of which they are compounded.”

Betrand Russell

I’ve been working flat out over the last 3 months or so getting up at 0430 to be out the door by 0545 to catch the 0620 train to London (a journey that takes me about two hours), out the door at the place I am working by 1730 to catch the 1800 train back to Leamington Spa (another two hour journey to get home), workout, eat, answer emails, sleep, then start the process over again. My weekends have been just as busy – mountain walks, country walks, visiting the in-laws. This weekend, I made the conscious choice to simply chill out, stay in the castle keep, and enjoy my home. I needed the time to reflect. My mother is not doing very well at the moment and there is an ocean between us so I am only able to get updates from my sister and brother. Times like these, of course, force you to think about your own time – how you are spending it and with whom you are spending it, how much of it you have left, and what you want to do with it. Yeah, so, this weekend I am taking time out to relax and think about life for a while.