thinking through this past weekend and i realized that i have either been very present or very dreamy… on the drive down south this morning, i started remember all the moving pieces of my life at the moment – things i should be doing, events coming up that i haven’t planned for, places to go etc… i devoted like zero time to those things over weekend, which then made me think, well what did i spend time on… mainly reading the catcher in the rye and researching how to hack my netbbook…that is after spending 2 hours deciding on which netbook to buy…

i thought about what my passion(s) are…my passion i concluded for the millionth time is literature – words, ideas, writing, reading, thinking… those are my passions… i get distracted by other things…is it because words, ideas, reading, writing require great tracks of time in solitude?  I don’t know, but am determined just to pursue my passion against the grain if i have to and to hell with all the other bullshit…

I have resisted the netbook revolution for as long as could, but this weekend I finally caved.  I like the idea of the netbook, light, ultra-portable, does what I need it to do, which is mainly emailing, blogging, and surfing the net for random things.  My main resistance has been not wanting to fool about with Windows again or to get to involved with Linux, and since Apple has been adamant about not joining the netbook revolution, I have resigned myself lugging my macbook around everywhere I go.

Until now…

I discovered that it was possible to ‘hackintosh’ a netbook, which is to say, I could replace the existing operating system with OS X.  And so I bought the Acer One Aspire 110.  I wanted the Dell Mini 9, but couldn’t get the 16GB SSD version for a justifiable price.  I spent some time over the weekend gathering the various hacks I would need to pull this off.  Hopefully by the end of the week I will have my very own ‘macbook nano.’

I am down south again this week finishing the last week of my current project before taking a couple of weeks off to explore a couple of places I have not been to yet.

I’ve been searching for a hobby or activity that would encourage us to get back out into nature again.  Something in our nature likes to have a goal, something that awaits us at the end of the journey, the prize or elixir as it is known in the mono myth of the Hero’s JourneyThe Great British Butterfly Hunt has become one of those goals for me.  There are 58 species native to Britain, part of the aim of the Great British Butterfly Hunt is to encourage people to engage with the beauty and fragility of Britain’s rich natural heritage.

Our first butterfly hunt was in the Ufton Wood nature reserve, which is local to us.  According the information board, Ufton Wood is home to 26 species of butterfly, that means we can potentially see nearly half of Britain’s butterflies within 2 miles of our house.

It was a nice morning for a walk.  The sun was out and patches of blue sky and fluffy white clouds could be seen through the break in the trees.  I had the feeling that it was a bit chilly for butterfly hunting.  The temperature being around 7.5 C at the start of the walk.  I don’t yet know the habits of butterflies apart from my faulty memory of my experiences of seeing them flittering about in the back garden or in the meadows of my childhood.

We had a copy of Collins Complete British Wildlife Photo Guide to help us identify any butterflies we might encounter.

About three quarters of mile into our hunt, we spotted a butterfly high up in a spread of trees with white flowers.  Two things I became aware of, one I didn’t have my binoculars with me to be able to get a good look at the butterfly before, nor did I have my camera with telephoto lens to get a decent picture.  The butterfly, however was cooperative enough to give us a good view of its wings spread.  It turned out to be a Peacock Butterfly.  I took a couple of snaps with my little digital, but couldn’t zoom in enough to be able to spot the butterfly from the flowers.

Cool.  Our first site-ing.

We continued on.  And further into the walk we got quick glance at a Small White.  And again having some bino’s and a telephoto lens would have been handing.  I make a mental note to include in our next butterfly hunt my field binoculars and my big Olympus 500 Digital SLR.  This could be an opportunity to combine several hobbies together – walking/hiking, photography, geocaching, and butterfly hunting.

I mentioned geocaching because along the way, we were also able to find a nearby geocache – GCN141 do you come here Ufton? laid out by Bumbling Fools.

So on our first butterfly hunt, we walked for 2.5 miles and spotted two species of butterfly.  On our next outing, I’ll be better equipped for sure, but our first one it was cool and gave some extra flavor to walking.

i am tired of  being a prisoner
shackled by time, held in place
by fear, brainwashed to believe
the should’s and should not’s
while my inner self screams
be true to yourself fight the good
fight and the universe will reward
you if you follow your own muse

i returned to
the salt mines
because i could not
turn a dime with
my words to feed
the open mouths
of our creation

sensations of doom
and economic gloom
echo across the
open channels of distress
masquerading as cartoons
for our entertainment
and distraction, mind
the attraction of
the blue pill

I tapped out
a message under
neath the stars
my pencil beat going
dot, dot, dot.
dash, dash, dash.
dot, dot, dot.

no reply i
curse the moon
and wonder why
she does not
like me, laughs
at my demise
curse the son
in ascension
dark conceals
light reveals
truth hidden in
the shadows
beneath my eyes

Thanks everyone for taking part in the walk for water, and especially well done to Lucy & Brittany for carrying a bucket of water on your heads for 2 miles.

Between us we have raised approximately £40 (possibly a bit more), so that’s great news.  Here’s what that money can buy:

£9 could train a villager in Ethiopia to maintain the local well or borehole
£15 could provide a family of five in Mozambique with access to a borehole
£30 could provide a community in Niger with purpose-built latrine (a loo!)
£40 could provide a family in Liberia with a BioSand Water Filter

I’m sure the money will be greatly appreciated.  Thanks again for everyone who participated.

blank  pages opened
shuffled like cards
aces and deuces wild

shall i fill them up
like joanna beneath the stars
leaned back against the monkey bars

of our youth? how she
tasted sweet then, her
pages easy to fill

the thrill of a first kiss
more mysteries revealed
blank pages turned savage

run amiss

i want to know
the story written
in her sad, dark eyes

i wonder why
she cries at night,
her sad, dark eyes

never smile, but
captivate, trance like
pleading, needing

sad, dark eyes i
want to know the
pain they hide and hold

the softest touch
the tilted chin
the lightest kiss

to ease the pain
away, her sad
dark eyes follow me

burned forever in
my mind, i carry her
burden across time