I’ve been stuck inside an office building for over 10 weeks with little time to get outside and play in the great outdoors. I’ve had just about enough! Today, I drove down to the Sea, my second spiritual home after the mountains, and spent some time meditating to the crash of the waves. As always, I left rejuvinated, but only just. I’m in dire need of another epic adventure. I’ve been sitting on my ass home bound for far to long now. If I don’t push the boundaries of my limits soon, I will go insane. Without an adventure to focus my mind, I start to do stupid things and push myself in destructive ways. It’s time to dust off the gear and get back outside where I belong.
The gears are shifting. I am unsure where the ride will take me next. The question is can I control the destination or is control an exercise in futility, an illusion designed to give the perception of control, when in reality we have no control. I have lived a lifetime of seemingly no control and I have loved nearly every minute of it. I like it when I’m pushing right up to edge. Reminds me of a Van Halen lyric:
You know I’ve been to edge
And I stood look down
I lost a lot friends there baby
Got no time to mess around
So where has Clay been? Nowhere but inside my own head. It’s a dangerous place indeed.
3 March 2005
I’ve found the key to thing I’ve been searching for – the elusive goal. I’ve known this thing in the past, but have not known it enough to name it, only to experience it. In fact, it is nameless. People have tried to name – I have tried to name it, but labelling it only negates it. And now I have run across it again in a passage from the Inner Game of Tennis:
The Inner Game is the moment-by moment effort to let go and to stay centred in the here-and-now action which offers the real winning and losing, and this game never ends. The Inner Game frees the player from concern about the fruits of victory; he becomes devoted only to the goal of self-knowledge, to the exploration of his true nature as it reveals itself on level after level.
In the true nature and style of Zen, this concept is best understood in the manifestation of the physical. For example Zen and the Art of Archery, Zen and the Art of breathing, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Zen and the Art of Flower Arrangement etc. As Miyamoto Musashi said: “To learn one thing is to learn ten thousand things.”
” Before enlightenment – chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment – chop wood, carry water.” — Zen Buddhist Saying