i am all men and no man floating through space and time looking to connect with those who want to connect to know another human being in this desolate soul sucking society we call civilization…gone are the shackles but slaves we still are…how clever…do you deny it? i deny it everyday in everyway but the fact remains…i am a slave who wants to be free…free to know you…free to know me…free to be who i want to be not like the man on tv…or like my father or my father’s father…freedom…what do you know about freedom? i once fought for freedom…sacrificed myself so you could be who you want to be…yet you still choose to be a victim…to be a slave to the system…to let the beauty of the day pass by your way without a smile…when did you last see the colors of the rainbow mixed in a bowl…mingled with your soul…the soul of another so fragile and tender longing to be you longing to be me…my destiny…your destiny written in the wind whispered on some half forgotten dawn…i’d like to know you…be you…be me…our souls dancing naked in the wind…naked and free dancing through eternity…

My soul is wrapped in conformity
Trapped between your white sheets
and warm pillows

We talk of time and things dear
Your breast half exposed untouched
but dreadfully near

How many times has the dawn
whispered my name
Taunting, teasing, tempting me away
From the comfort
Of your conformity

I reach; you pull
we bend and twist
the sheets

Why can’t I grasp the enormity?

Another Christmas has come and gone. I hope all of you out there who read my words have had an outstanding holiday regardless of your faith or beliefs. I hope the festiveness of the season has at least brought some of us closer together even if we don’t know why.

We played host this year with everyone converging on our house to celebrate Christ’s birthday and break bread together. I went to church to pay my respects. It is not often these days that I go to worship. Not because I don’t believe in Christ or God, but because I’ve lost my faith in religion.

As I walk through the ancient wooden doors of St James of Southam, I can sense a mood of happiness and joy. The people have come out to worship together. What I don’t get and what bothers me about the Christian religion is it seems too steeped in tradition…to immersed in the past. I find the true energetic spirit of being in the presence of a Deity missing.

Where is the passion that once stirred men’s heart to pay fealty to Christ? Where are the temple knights who stand bold and fierce yet humble before the Lord?

The Dante’s Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Moderate
Level 1 – Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful) Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous) Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Low
Level 6 – The City of Dis (Heretics) Very Low
Level 7 (Violent) Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) High
Level 9 – Cocytus (Treacherous) Low

Take the Dante’s Inferno Hell Test

I may have an opportunity to join a 4-man crew who will attempt to break the world record for fastest rowing time across the Atlantic. This is the kind of adventure/challenge I dream about. And like all adventures, the fears, doubts and obstacles can begin to look insurmountable. Family and close friends don’t help either…they tend to be the ones who point out all the obstacles instead of helping you find a way to make your adventure successful.

On a Pale Horse (notes)

I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the Earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beast of the Earth. – Revelations 6:8

(It used to be that death would come riding in a pale horse, now it’s just as likely that death may come riding on an asteroid, tidal wave, deadly virus or colliding sub atomic particles.)

We are hanging on by a thread here folks. We are hanging on waiting for our miserable little lives to be snuffed out. And it could happen. It could happen at any moment. But then again, what else is new? Every day Mr Death is near. He is lurking around every corner, every bend. To some he is an enemy. To some he is a friend. But he claims all in the end.

Even now he is standing behind you looking over your right shoulder holding his balance scales and rubbing his chin and thinking “is it time yet?”

Death used to be so simple. You died by the sword, plague, or wild beast. And sometimes God would smote a city or two or strike down a non-pious man. But now, now death has become more sophisticated, more technological. Created by our own hands. And I’m not just talking about Mr Oppenhiemer’s deadly toy. That was so last century.

Long Island physicist start skeet shooting subatomic particles and accidently cause a tiny black hole….

We are creating robots that may someday be the death of us all. At least that’s what Ted K. thought. Scientist predict that robots will reach ‘human equivalence’ by ….

And if the big robots don’t get us, then the nanobots will. Scientist are racing to build atomic sized robots. The plan is to inject in the body to help fight deadly diseases. The side effect, however, is these tiny little buggers can spill onto the ground and start replicating every thing in their path eventually turning the earth into one big pile of grey nano goo.

Mother Nature has a few tricks of her own and can pull the plug at any moment.

Natural Disaster World Tour

Toba Tuff….

Tidal wave….


Carp diem. Live life to the fulliest. Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today and the other banal expressions mean more now than ever before.

I don’t think we realise on a day to day basis how close the earth comes to being total destroyed or having our civilization destroyed as we know it. Brian Appleyard revealed 10 of the most likely earth destroying catastrophes. All I can say is make sure you have your wills up to date.

This is why we should live life to its fullest. You just never know when it can all blow up. The bushido warriors had the right concept. They believed that you should do everything as if it were the last time you were going to do it. So when you kiss your wife good bye in the morning, you should kiss her like it was the last time you were never going to see her again.

Don’t ‘just do it,’ as Nike proclaimed. Instead ‘do it with passion.’

The top 7 catastrophes

1. A couple of physicist from Long Island get drunk one night an start blasting sub atomic particles with the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider and accidentally create a tiny black hole on Long Island which eventually will slowly suck the Earth’s matter into itself.

2. Linda Hamilton wasn’t crazy after all, the machines do take over the world. Some of our leading technocrats believe that machines will reach “human equivalence” by the year 2030. [get some quotes from Ray Kurzweil’s book, The Age of Spiritual Machines.]

3. If the big machines fail to win the revolution, then the nanobots will. Apparently these microscopic robots the size of an atom may decide to turn the Earth into a filthy grey matter of nanobot goo by transforming everything come into contact with into themselves.

4. It’s not just the high tech stuff standing in the wings to wipe us out. There is the biological weapon wielding terrorist who might decide to unleash microscopic hell on Earth in the form of a deadly virus that we have no immediate cure for.

5. Of course the Earth could decide its had enough of us parasitic humans and unleash some of its own fury. Young Toba Tuff could erupt again. The last time it did, 75, 000 years ago, it released enough ash to cover the entire U.S. and blocked out the sun for years.

6. In then there is the traditional earthquake. All we need is for Kobe to get rocked again with a earthquake measuring 8 or more on the Richter scale to send the world economic markets into freefall. [get some quotes from Bill McGuire’s book, The End of the World: Everything You Never Wanted to Know.]

7. It was a 10km sized asteroid that is said to caused the earth to cleaned of the dinosaurs. All it takes is a an asteroid of 1km or greater to collide with the Earth and cause global destruction. And guess what folks, there are over 1500 1km or more in size asteroids that cross the Earth’s orbit. Asteroid XFll was on target to destroy the Earth in 2020. But scientist have revised their estimates and are saying that the XF11 will miss us by about 1km. What if they are wrong. Remember it was a simple mathematical error that caused the $125 million dollar Mars Climate Orbiter to crash into Martian soil. They were off by 60 miles!

I trace a line in the sand, my footsteps upon time.

Fade in.

My Life – The early years

1968 -1976
born Beth Israel Hospital, play time, newark nj, almost lose my eye, eat sand, father away on a ship, man shot in front of me bleeding stripped to his underwear, orgies, broken plates, dead bird caused by my hand, big park, Pablo, monkey man, lemon cream cookie thief, books = friends, army men, gigi, dog down incinerator, fight = survival, grandmother dies of cancer, riots, murder, death, move home, move home,sex, move home, move home, live with grandfather, bats, grandfather hit in the head with a can of beans, eat racoon, southern fried chicken, scared in the dark, Sunday paper, cornflakes, baby sister, moth balls, dad comes, dad goes, dad comes back again.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don’t search around and look for the “coolest” book you can find. Do what’s actually next to you.

“I have people in Washington who will jerk you up by your pants and shoot you full of angel dust and slam you onto the Bush campaign bus with nails painted pink and your mouth blazing fiery red lipstick and your fly open and the tips sliced off of your thumbs.” Hunter S. Thompson, Better Than Sex: Confessions of a Political Junkie Trapped Like a Rat in Mr Bill’s Neighborhood


I just happened to be rereading sections of this particular book tonight looking for inspiration to jumpstart my writing juices.

Day 2 of the course. The energy is still flat and now I’m beginning to question if it’s the people or is it me. Ha! I’m reminded of the old poker quote: “If you haven’t spotted the sucker after 10 minutes of playing, the sucker’s probably you.

The subject of the course is NLP. The first time around I did this course, I was over the moon with excitment. This time nothing. Is that because I’ve somehow changed? Hmmm.


I felt a bit odd today like I was here but not here. I did manage to open an online trading account which I’ve been threatening to do for a couple of weeks now, and I’ve also started tracking the FTSE 100 again for future options trading. I spent the day in Milton Keynes training. The group lacked energy. Perhaps it was because of the heavy cloud cover in combination with being a Monday. The morning dragged on but did pick up a little in the afternoon. I’m with the same group for the next 3 days so hopefully things will pick up.